i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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