David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
