Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
