I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
