everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
