garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Randomize
