I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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