my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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