just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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