sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
