Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
That's when you crack a 10am beer
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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