I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
