Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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