I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize