omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
