I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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