Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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