had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
lets start a swedish sibling band together
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
