What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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