and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
