I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
