I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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