Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
