Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
