Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
