Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
