Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize