im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Randomize
