Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Text me some of your sweat
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
