I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
