It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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