Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize