that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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