Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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