It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
vagina is talking i cant
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
