have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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