Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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