Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
She said her name was "party"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
