Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
