man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
