using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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