Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
