yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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