dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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