at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
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