Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
