Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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