You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize