Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize