if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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