By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Randomize
