Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
