I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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