id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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