btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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