apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
My ass is underappreciated
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
