I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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