what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Randomize
