Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize