I don't usually arrange sex via text message
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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