that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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