Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize