bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
