I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
