hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
