He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
