when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
