don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
