you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
