Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
You're like the curious george of whores
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
