Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
someone owes me an orgasm
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
