Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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