is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
