the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
