I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
