You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
