He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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