I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
