The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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